A friend of a friend of mine once told her that women never knew what they really wanted… He’s totally a generalist, and his words sound sarcastically judgmental. However, just this morning I sensed that I am amongst those "women" he referred to.
I hope against hope
I crawl amid resentment
With you I’ll walk the globe
It’s my lifetime contentment
I wish upon a star
I plead down on my knees
If time will end the war
I want you to bring in the peace
I am up for joy
I want no longer pain
No one is to annoy
Only happiness and laughter remain
I love, I want, I need,
Then I lose, I mourn, I bleed.
Why does love barely succeed?
Or only my poor heart lost the bid?
I hold my tears from falling
Strive to stand up and recuperate
Though it’s your name I’ve been calling
Your heart and mine shall separate
Leave, Love…
Fade away
I’ll be tough
But please don’t stay
Leave and surrender
Never return
Let us hinder
And heal the burn
If the feeling stays to hurt,
Why don’t move to liberate?
If heart is only to ache,
Why don’t let it freeze?
If desire constrains,
Why trade freedom with it?
If dreams are unable to reach,
Why don’t wake up?
If the struggles useless,
Why keep on fighting?
If the story leads to nothing,
Why begin?
If you were to leave,
Why came up to me?
If pain is what love is created for,
Why acquainted love to me at first?
You always say that I don’t have to be someone else, just be
the best me.
Alas, being the best me all the time is what I can’t do,
thus, what I am not.
So, asking me to always perform only the best me is simply
the same with asking me to be what I am not.
That means, you ask me to be someone else.
Now you are confused, huh?
So am I.
I’ve been confused since the very first day I got here.
Hey! Look at me…
I’m standing still
Here, still the same place
Where you defeated me
In bloody pain and teardrops
Once, years ago, I can’t recall…
Still I can feel the hurt
Of injured heart…
Of neglected feeling
Of broken dreams
Of imprisoned desire
Of losing faith, pride, and ego.
Hey! I’m calling you!
Do come and approach
Then I’ll surrender my ego
I defy you this time
Walk over me again and please go by
Defeat me once again, love…
Wahai cinta…
Kalahkan aku sekali
lagi!
Aku ingin
bercerita padamu hari ini
Entah mengapa…
Bukan ada kisah
yang lebih indah dari biasanya
Atau peristiwa penting
yang tiba-tiba singgah dalam hidupku
yang selalu
biasa-biasa saja
Tapi aku ingin
sekali kau mendengarkanku
Sebentar saja…
Itupun kalau kau
tidak bosan
dengan
keluh-kesahku yang berlebihan tentang ini dan itu
yang sebenarnya
biasa-biasa saja
Ingin rasanya
kubercerita tentang indahnya cinta
dan kegelisahan
karenanya… atau letihnya memendam rasa cinta
Ah, mungkinkah
kau mau mendengar?
Apa
pedulimu tentang gelisah, letih, dan perasaan cintaku…
Toh kau hanya pernah
mendengar bahagiaku
Sungguh akupun
tak tahu apa
yang datang
mengganggu pikiranku
Yang kutahu hanya
aku sedang ingin bicara,
meluapkan kebahagiaanku
padamu
Atau…
justru dirimulah kebahagiaan itu?
